Guess Who | cnk91's Blog

Guess who came begging...
Came to finally realize he did wrong...
Finally is understanding just what he is missing out on...
Understanding that the choices he made have created horrible consequences....
Choices that had originally hurt me so much, but now are only hurting him...
Had he just realized this when I was willing to forgive...
Realized now that I deserve more...
That I am better then him...

Yes. My ex, who was the source of all my pain. Who helped me to realize just how happy I could be-alone, now is begging to come back. Loves me more then anyone, ever. Wants to be apart of this family so badly. He was just scared is all, he was wanting to run away. He was only just scared of being a parent. When he cheated, it was him running. After realizing just what he was going to miss out on, he's depressed. He wants to love me, and our baby. MY baby.
She is mine now. 
I always said if he wanted to be apart of her life, he could. But mine? 
I knew deep down he would realize his mistake. Realize and want back in. How could he not? I'm friggin awesome right?! 
I've only been nice to him. Acted as a shoulder for him to cry on. Maybe that was wrong of me...Maybe he doesn't deserve me being nice. But I can't help it. He's been too important to me. He's too important for my daughter. I wish I could tell him to f*** off. But...I can't. 
He's been back here twice. Seen me twice. And I have been looking good. 8 months pregnant, my hair has grown considerably, lightened because of the hormones. I know I look good. I was happy. Am happy. He isn't. So of course he misses me...or course he wants back in. He wants in on this happiness. Who wouldn't?
He wants to be apart of his daughter's life...well of course. But it's going to take more then some sweet words to get back into mine. I don't need him. Maybe want him...a little. But I'm stronger now. I'm not that sad lonely girl who first came to this site. I've grown. And I know what I want in my man. If he can change enough to be that, well great...if not. Then I'm good. 

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Posted on 11:05AM on Nov 26th, 2012
Good for you girl , stay strong! Keep ur head up, give him hell before alowing him back into ur life.
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Whoops!!, posted November 29th, 2012, 1 comment
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New Room New Feelings, posted October 7th, 2012, 1 comment
Not So Fast, posted October 7th, 2012
Looking to tomorrow, posted September 29th, 2012
Change, posted September 28th, 2012
He's mad., posted September 24th, 2012
Night is long, posted September 23rd, 2012, 3 comments
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